Sunday, March 13, 2005

the joys of being a girl

hey everyone :)

it's been a while since i've written, but the past month has been quite crazy. Alex has been doing well in spanish school (he graduated last friday), and the only thing that's really been getting to me these days is the fact that i can't see him nearly as much as i want to. today is Alex's birthday (happy birthday!) and he's about to go an a fishing trip in one of the most remote parts of Nicaragua for a few days. then he'll finally be traveling up to my site to visit me! i can't wait! i feel like i've been trying to live 2 completely different lives for the past month - my life in my site and my life with Alex. it'll be nice for those 2 worlds to merge for a while :)

in other news, Alex and i went to the beach to party it up with most of the PCVs currently in Nica (about 170 or so). the health group that's been here a year longer than my group is about to leave the country, and it's tradition to send every departing group off to the states with a big party. however, for some reason these parties are always held on one of the most dangerous beaches in Nica. i don't think i actually realized how dangerous this place was until i was confronted directly with the problem. the day Alex left for his fishing trip, my best friend from my peace corps group and i were robbed as we walked down the beach - we were only about 100 yards away from the restaurant where the rest of the PCVs were. we lost a little money and i lost my cell phone, but it was mainly upsetting because i lost my sense of security. it's just hard being a female in this country.

ever since Alex has been here, i've noticed how much of a target being female makes you. whenever i walk down the street and i'm not with Alex, i get harrassed - every single time. this has been my life for the past year, so it's something i've tried to learn to put up with. but as soon as Alex got here, all the harrassment stopped - as least whenever i was with him. of course, i have to be walking down the street and holding his hand - if i'm walking ahead or behind him by even a few paces, all bets are off and i'm again available to being harrassed.

part of me is so relieved to get a break from constantly being yelled at or grabbed, but it's also very upsetting when guys who would have defintiely said something offensive to me if i had been alone are completly without comment when Alex is around. i just want to tell them how i'm still the same person, how just because i'm with a guy doesn't make me his property and shouldn't give me the priviledge to not be harrassed (i should already have that priviledge). it's amazing how different my service is now that i have a boyfriend down here.

anyway, those are the thoughts and issues that i'm currently dealing with. honestly, i'm getting very run down by all the things that i have to deal with every time i set foot out of my site. you'd think that some stupid guy hissing at you or yelling "i love you, mi amorrrrrrr" wouldn't be too bad, but if you multiply that by 15 months, maybe you'll see why it's slowly working its way into how i feel about myself down here.

i didn't mean for this blog to be so sad - truth is, i've never been happier here in nica than i am now that Alex is here. he makes every part of nicaragua a thousand times better (especially since he makes all the hissing machista men shut up for once). so yeah - i think i'll finish on that happy note :)

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

<< Home